Every relationship does not end successfully. Even if you break-up, there will be still feelings inside you and you may wish to get them back. But it is not an easy process. Once there has been a crack in the relationship, it takes long time to mend them back.
Sometimes you may be serious about the relationship, but due to some reasons it ended in a break up. This completely shatters you. You will carry the regret for your entire life. But before you mend your relationship, enjoy your life as a single person. Take a while to understand you and love yourself. Practice you favourite hobby, meet up with old friends and try learning a new skill. Try to get out of the negativity which the break-up gave you. Reconnect with your partner only with a fresh mind.
Breakup can emotionally break you down physically and mentally. It is very important that you take care of your body during these hard times. Eat well, sleep well and avoid drinking. You must know the exact reason why the relationship lead to breakup. Understand the fact that not all persisting relations are happy. If your relationship is acting as a hindrance for your self-growth then it is better you come out of that relationship. Try to analyse the situation and try to find a solution to the problem that led to break up. Never run back to your ex, just because you are lonely. Approach them only if you truly want them in your life. If you do not like or respect your ex, then it is not a healthy relationship and going back to them does not make any difference.
You decide yourself that you want them back in your life. It can be some silly reason which leads to breakup. If you have the mind-set to change yourself and accept their flaws, then the process becomes easier.
The first step towards reconnecting is making the initial contact. This can be a hard step but it is necessary to gain back the spark. Choose a slow mode of communication like an email or letter because this gives your partner ample time to think about giving a response. The message should be legitimate and they must feel that you truly want them back in your life.
Never stalk them. Keep your contact short and simple. When you are contacting initially never put all your feelings into them. Take it light and honestly explain about what you feel. Give them time to think and never expect them to reply immediately. Never put your frustration or be harsh behaviour during your conversation with them. If your partner does not reply to your messages, understand that they prefer to keep a distance. Sometimes they may be eagerly waiting for your message and they reply you instantly. In this case, things will be smooth and easy.
If you get a positive response from them, forward a request of taking them out for a lunch, coffee etc. Talk to them in a polite way and keep the conversation friendly. Never talk about the past during the initial stage. Gradually you can pick up the topic and analyse where it went wrong and find a solution that satisfies both. Make them feel you are truly interested in them and ask about their job, family and hobbies.
There are chances that your partner moved on and now has a serious relationship. If you find that they are happy in that relationship, just leave your plan behind of getting them back and focus on regaining your friendship.
Take a slow pace and understand that there are chances that your partner may leave you behind again. Never force them to get back into the relationship. Only if you move in a slow pace, both you and your partner will be able to understand each other’s feeling and avoid unnecessary disappointments.
When you find that the contact is stable, try to talk about the past. Discuss why your relationship ended. Find a public place to discuss without a lot of noise or distractions. Never get frustrated or upset when they point out your mistakes. Try to accept them, and change them for your good.