Anger is one of the emotion that humans exhibits when they are uncomfortable or frustrated with something. Sometimes anger can take the worst form when you are fighting with your loved ones in a relationship. Some anger situations can be controlled; but some can go out of control. When you are in a relationship, there can be differences in opinions and you need to do some adjustments to build a consistent relationship. But at times, you may lose your temper and indulge in serious fights with your partner. It is important to learn to manage your anger and your response when you are talking to your angry partner. This can help you to become more intimate and mature in relationship.
In most of the cases, after a conflict we often shut down, complain to your friends about your partner or try to control our partner as a response to our anger. These strategies may give you relief for only a short time but they are ineffective in the long run.
How to manage anger in relationship?
- Avoid the impulse to cut off
Whenever you are in an argument with your partner, and the heat is high, you may feel like hitting the door or throwing away things that come into your hand. This should be controlled. Some just remain silent for everything the other person says. This is a dangerous method. When you remain silent, it can give you temporary relief but the anger and frustration inside you accumulates and it may burst out at any time. Moreover it is not good for your health. You may have increased blood pressure. Take your time to solve the issue. Never try to threaten them or force them into reconciliation because it can badly affect your relationship.
- Try to change yourself and not your partner
Whenever we fight with our loved ones or become frustrated, we would feel to make peace with them as soon as possible. But we can’t control others thoughts, behaviours and emotions. What we can do is change ourselves. Being calm and talking calmly in such situations can help you manage your own anxiety and emotions. Instead of yelling at them to stay calm, try to take a deep breath and stay calm during fights. Listen to what they have to say and respond peacefully.
- Be aware of triangles
When you have anger and frustration towards your partner, you feel relaxed when you complain about them to your friends or your close ones. When you involve a third person into this issue, it is known as an emotional triangle. Everybody has done this once in their lifetime. But in some situations, emotional triangle can result in depression of your partner and can make them more defensive. By contacting a third person, you are not looking for help but you are creating a situation where you want them to agree that what you have done is right. It can make things more worse. Never involve a third person in your relationships fight if it can be sorted out by yourself.
- Look past the issues
In a relationship, there will be certain topics which always end up in conflicts. Most of the topics are money, religion, sex, family, parenting etc. It is not the actual opinions that lead to fights; it is the immature reaction towards this topic that leads to conflicts. So rather than just responding to the arguments, try to maturely solve the issue. This does not mean that you must bear all the violence and abuse your partner is showing towards you. When conflicts arise in a relationship, both the partners have equal contribution towards that fight. The more you learn to be calmer and mature, the same will reflect in your relationship. Whatever the case, never let anger run the show. They may break your relationship.